My manicure is badass.

Most are relaxing and soothing. Some are speedy and necessary. Mine? Badass.

It just requires a little tweaking of names. I change my nail color every other week or so, and most weeks I can chuckle over the pun-tastic names for each color. This week, though, they dropped the ball.

The color on my nails right now was named “I’ve Got the Blues for Red.” I’m not saying the marketing team at OPI doesn’t know their stuff. I mean, they brought me “Can’t Find My Czechbook,” which is a glorious, spring-time blue. But this rich, deep red had an ombre touch to it, where it was darkest at the tips.

It obviously should have been called “Blood of My Enemies.” Think of all the jokes one could have—especially when done in a gel color that lasts for weeks. You could say your nails are constantly coated in the blood of your enemies.

The door is open there for a full line of Viking or Norse mythology nail colors.

Maybe a dark purple for Thirsty Thorsday.

A vibrant green with gold crackle would make the perfect Loki Luster.

Sheer Shieldmaiden would be the ideal matte silver.

And, of course, an intense red to remind others how one deals with their problems—Blood of My Enemies.

A name like that says badass. So, yeah, I’m renaming it. If anyone asks, I’m donning the blood of my enemies.